The Jephthah Inheritance

CONTENTS

Foreword by Ruth van Reken xi
The Return 1
Introduction 3

1. Jephthah’s Story 9
2. A Good Idea Is Not Necessarily a God Idea 17
3. Suffer the Little Children 33
4. Hope’s Story 43
5. An Ever-Present Help 47
6. Michael’s Story 55
7. From Great Commission to Great Omission 61
8. Marianne’s Story 75
9. Justified by Fate 77
10. Anna’s Story 97
11. Father, But Not Far Enough 99
12. Danny’s Story 111
13. Laid upon the Altar 115
14. Esther’s Story 151
15. Strangers in a Strange Land 155
16. Jerome’s Story 161
17. By This Will All Men Know … 165
18. Leyla’s Story 171
19. The Land of Lost Content 175
20. Mark’s Story 183
21. All Things Reconsidered 189
22. Jenna’s Story 197
23. From Nowhere to ‘Now Where?’ 201

Afterword by Ulrika Ernvik 223
Acknowledgements 225
Notes 227
Bibliography 235

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Andrew Lane is a teacher, writer and musician from England. Brought up in South-East Asia as the son of Christian missionaries, he was sent to boarding school at five and then to the UK at 10 to complete his education. He studied music at Manchester University and the Royal Northern College of Music, as a pianist, singer and composer, and has written a number of musicals, songs, piano and choral pieces. He currently teaches Conversational English, Philosophy and Critical Thinking to international students and hosts an online fellowship for those looking to deepen their relationship with and understanding of God in a place of safety and acceptance.

QUESTIONS TO THE AUTHOR ABOUT THE BOOK:

1. Why did you decide to write your book?
As the child of missionaries, and having worked alongside MKs for a decade, I perceived a need for someone to attempt to answer the questions that are raised by those in Christian service (so, pastors and church leaders too) who send their children into the care of others or otherwise prioritise their calling over their families. This book attempts to answer some of those questions, or at least to provide a rationale, a perspective by which these actions can be understood, if not always accepted as reasonable.

2. What is distinctive about content of your book?
The distinctive nature of this book is that, as well as telling the stories of MKs and highlighting the issues and consequences of early childhood separation, particularly in the context of the boarding school experience, it examines them in the light of Scripture, specifically, but not exclusively, the story of Jephthah.

3. Why is this subject important?
As long as Christian men and women offer themselves in full-time service to God, the temptation to place to one side their God-given duties as regards the bringing up of their children will be there. My hope is that this book will become a go-to resource for missions, theological colleges, church and missionary training organisations and Bible institutes to highlight that temptation and offer an alternative way into ministry that does not involve parents sacrificing their children on the altar of evangelism.

4. What difference would this book make for the ministry?
The issue of responsible and God-honouring Christian service is one that demands critical thinking and Biblical interpretation founded on the essential truths of Scripture – that God is love; that Jesus is the exact representation of God’s being; that the Son is the image of the invisible God; that Jesus did nothing by Himself but only what He saw the Father doing; and that the call to evangelism in the Great Commission, before it is a call to go and preach, is a call to imitate Christ. There is nothing new in this book as regards fundamental Christian theology – just a call to attitudinal change, to focus on the example of Jesus rather than the heroes of mission history, and to love our children as Christ loved the church.

5. Feel free to add anything else you find relevant.
The Jephthah Inheritance is a book written not to criticize or condemn, but as an attempt to rationalize and understand actions taken in the past by Christians that often left the objects of their evangelism, sometimes even their fellow Christians, open-mouthed at the hypocrisy of their actions. As James remarks in his epistle, ‘My brothers and sisters, this should not be.’ The physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health of many MKs suffered greatly, sometimes irreparably, by the well-meaning but often highly inappropriate actions of their parents. My hope is that, as well as highlighting these issues as a warning for the future, I am offering a way forward, at least in terms of a holistic approach to Christian service. We may not change the past, but we can change the future.

Never before have I heard these enormously complicated issues of family separations for the sake of God told through the lens of Jephthah’s story. But the bigger surprise came as I read this account to see how masterfully Andrew Lane used the specifics of this story to challenge each of us to take a deeper look at our own relationship with God.
Ruth van Reken Author of Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds (with David Pollock), and Letters Never Sent, International Speaker on TCK issues and co-founder of Families in Global Transition

These are stories that need to be told. Andrew is offering us a beautiful piece of art as he is weaving together these emotion-filled stories with reminders of how we as humans, in our search to honour God, stopped listening to both ourselves, our children and even God. It is a gift to each one of us, to receive and reflect upon.
Ulrika Ernvik, MSW, Licensed Psychotherapist and author, originator and developer of SafetyStories®, MK, mom of five MKs, and MK counsellor

An impressive book, which will help and comfort many people, in particular those who have suffered as mission kids. Its contents are of great value in discussing the policy of mission organisations with regard to the children of missionaries.
Dr Freek Bakker, Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies, Utrecht University, and author of a book in Dutch on the experiences of Dutch MKs

I had some real eye-opening moments as I read this that made me understand myself – and others – better. I have an extensive library of Christian books around inner healing, but Andrew has brought out some fresh revelations in this book.
Merle Williams, retired publishing editor, counsellor and MK

This book is astonishingly good. Andrew has written carefully, conclusively with irrefutable logic and the wisdom given him by his wrestling with the difficulties he has overcome as a child of missionary parents working in Asia. Beginning with a powerful scriptural exegesis which reaches a convincing climax, compellingly and logically stated, he follows this with stories that are beautifully told, with power and love, illustrating the complexity of missionary child/parent relationships. This book is going to be seen as definitive on these topics.
John Chenoweth, MB, BS FRCOG, FRANZCOG. Editor and publisher of Sent: Reflections on Missions, Boarding School and Childhood